A Podcast Exploring the Wit and Weirdness of Medieval Texts

Author: Patrick (Page 1 of 2)

Advent 2025 Calendar Game: Legendae Sacrae de Capitibus vel Caudis

Game cover image.

This year, Medieval Death Trip‘s annual Advent Calendar on Instagram is taking the form of a journaling game called Legendae Sacrae de Capitibus vel Caudis (Holy Legends of the Heads or the Tails), where you are invited to respond to daily prompts to construct your own mock medieval saint’s life.

What it is:

Legendae Sacrae de Capitibus vel Caudis (Holy Legends of the Heads or the Tails) is a non-competitive journaling game housed in an online Advent calendar, in which you respond to a series of prompts that will help you construct a written piece. In this game, that piece is a mock medieval saint’s life about a person born with an animal trait — namely, a body part.

What you’ll need:

  • Writing tools (digital or physical)
  • A means for randomly selecting between two options, “heads” or “tails” (e.g., a coin, odds or evens on a die, or your own intuition)

How to play:

  • To play, check in on the Advent calendar posts that appear on Instagram @medievaldeathtrip. Each post has a “door” cover image hiding the prompts. You can also find all the posts by searching Instagram for #MDTAdvent25.
  • Open the door (by advancing to the next image), and read the introduction to the day’s prompt. Then choose “heads” or “tails” using the method of your choice (flipping a coin, picking odds or evens by rolling a die or picking a word at random from a page and counting the number of letters, meditating on the question until a selection appears to you, etc.).
  • Once you’ve determined if you will be “heads” or “tails” for that day’s prompt, advance to the first image after the introduction for “heads” or to the second image after the introduction for “tails.”
  • Read the prompt and write a response with your choice of writing tool. Responses may range anywhere from a couple of sentences to a couple of paragraphs (or longer, if you’re feeling especially inspired).
  • If you would like to share your work publicly, you can post your response as a comment on the day’s prompt on Instagram.
  • You should begin the game with the set-up prompt for Dec. 1st and continue day-by-day in sequence until the conclusion on Dec. 25th.

Historical Context:

Hagiography, or writing about saints, was a major genre of medieval literature. Like popular genres today, it developed a common formula for organizing its narrative. The prompts of this journaling game will guide you through the conventional structure of a medieval saint’s life. This begins with establishing their origins, then narrates their birth and childhood, their education and spiritual guides, sketches out examples of their exceptional piety and notable events of their life (not necessarily in chronological order), and describes the circumstances of their death. The being alive part of a saint’s life is only half the story; their posthumous activities as a saint are typically given equal or greater attention. So next the life will discuss the disposition of their body or relics and their placement into a shrine or notable burial place, then present a catalogue of miracles attributed to the saint’s intercession with God.

As for saints with animal parts, this is not a common convention. Medieval depictions of the legendary figure of St. Christopher sometimes depicted him as having a dog’s head — not, in this case, as a prodigy or unusual birth, but as a member of a race of dog-headed people reported to dwell in far away in the East by classical authorities. The Queen of Sheba (not a saint, but a biblical figure) was sometimes depicted in medieval art as having either a goat’s or a goose’s foot. I am not aware of any saint’s born with a bestial tail, but such hybrids frequently adorn the margins of illuminated manuscripts and seem a natural addition to the choir of unusual saints.

A cynocephalus from British Library, MS Cotton Vitellius A XV, fol. 100r.

No AI Commitment:

I will not be using generative AI to produce images or content for this game. I can’t promise an absolute elimination of AI, as it is integrated into many Photoshop tools that I will be using in simple image clean-up and preparation. But I will not be using AI for full generation of images or content. All the “doors” of this year’s Advent Calendar are from photos I took myself.

–Patrick Lane

Medieval Death Trip’s Christmas Playlist

Image of two hurdy-gurdy players from

If you’re looking to get in a medievalish Christmas mood, check out the “MDT Christmas” playlist on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5EmlXCdeLV3HPmspb0I9AX?si=306a5306cd9e401e

The playlist features both authentic medieval tunes as well as pieces that feel medieval in spirit.

Note: I have actually curated and organized the playlist as a sequence, which helps avoid repeats. Shuffle it at your own risk (of hearing “Coventry Carol” five times in a row).

Image: detail of two hurdy-gurdy players from El Escorial Ms. T.j.I, f.160.

Robert Henryson’s “The Tale of the Paddock and the Mouse”

By listener request, here is my reading version of Robert Henryson’s “The Taill of the Paddok and the Mous,” lightly adapted for modern English speakers by me, as featured in Episode 73.

Upon a time, as Aesop could report,
A little Mouse came to a river side;
She might not wade, her shanks were so short;
She could not swim, she had no horse to ride:
Of verray force behove it her to bide,
And to and fro beside that river deep
She ran, crying with many piteous peep.

“Help over, help over,” this silly Mouse did cry,
“For God’s love, somebody over this brim.”
With that a Paddock in the water by
Put up her head, and on the bank did climb;
Quick by nature could duck, and gayly swim.
With voice full rauk, she said on this manner:
“Good morne, Sir Mouse, what is your errand here?”

“Seeist thou,” quod she, “of corn yon jolly flat
Of ripe oats, of barley, peas, and wheat;
I am hungry, and fain would be there-at,
But I am stopped by this water great;
And on this side I get nothing to eat
But hard nuts, which with my teeth I bore.
Were I beyond, my feast were far the more.

“I have no boat, here are no mariners:
And, though there were, I have no freight to pay.”
Quod she, “Sister, let be your heavy cheer;
Do my counsel, and I shall find the way
Without horse, bridge, boat, or yet galley,
To bring you over safely—be not affeared!
And not wetting the whiskers of your beard.”

“I have great wonder,” quod the silly mouse,
How can thou float without feather or fin?
This river is so deep and dangerous,
Me think that thou should drowned be therein.
Tell me, therefore, what faculty or gyn
Thou has to bring thee over this water?” Than
Thus to declare the Paddock soon began:

“With my two feet,” quod she, “lucken [webbed] and broad,
Instead of oars, I row the stream full still;
And though the brine be perilous to wade,
Both to and fro I row at my own will.
I may not drown, for why?—my open gill
Devoids all the water I receive:
Therefore to drown forsooth no dread I have.”

The Mouse beheld unto her fronsit [furrowed] face,
Her wrinkled cheeks, and her lips wide;
Her hanging brows, and her voice so hoarse;
Her gangly legs, and her harsky hide.
She ran aback, and on the Paddock cried:
“If I know any skill of physiognomy,
Thou has some part of falseness and envy.

“For Clerks say the inclination
Of man’s thought proceeds commonly
After the corporeal complexion
To good or evil, as nature will apply:
A twisted will, a twisted physiognomy.
The old proverb is witness of this: Lorum
Distortum vultum, sequitur distortio morum.”

“No,” quod the Toad, “that proverb is not true;
For fair things oft times are found fake.
The blueberries, though they be sad of hue,
Are gathered up when primrose is forsaken.
The face may fail to be the heart’s token.
Therefore I find this Scripture in all places:
Thou should not judge any man after his face.

“Thought I unwholesome be to looked upon,
I have no cause why I should be found lacking;
Were I else fair as jolly Absolon,
I am no causer of that great beauty.
This difference in form and quality
Almighty God has caused dame Nature
To print, and set in every creature.

“Of some the face may be full flourished;
Of silken tongue, and cheer right amorous;
With mind inconstant, false, and varying;
Full of deceit, and means cautelous.”
“Let be thy preaching,” quod the hungry Mouse;
And by what craft thou make me understand
That thou would guide me to yon yonder land?”

“Thou wait,” quod she, “a body that has need,
To help themself should many ways cast:
Therefore go take a double twined thread,
And bind thy leg to mine with knots fast;
I shall thee teach to swim—be not aghast!—
As well as I.” “As thou,” then quod the Mouse,
“To prove that play it were right perilous.

“Should I be bound and fast where I am free,
In hope of help, now then I shrew us both;
For I might lose both life and liberty.
If it were so, who should amend the scathe?
But if thou swear to me the murder oath,
Without fraud or guile, to bring me over this flood,
Without hurt or harm.” “In faith,” quod she, “I do it.”

She gawked up, and to the heavens did cry:
“О Jupiter! of Nature god and king,
I make an oath truly to thee, that I
This little Mouse shall over this water bring.”
This oath was made. The Mouse, not perceiving
The false engine of this foul, deceitful Toad,
Took thread and bound her leg, as she her bade.

Then foot for foot they lept both in the brim;
But in their minds they were right different:
The Mouse thought of nothing but for to swim,
The Paddock for to drown set her intent.
When they in midward of the stream were went,
With all her force the Paddock pressed down,
And thought the Mouse without mercy to drown.

Perceiving this, the Mouse on her did cry:
“Traitor to God, and mansworn unto me,
Thou swore the murder oath right now, that I
Without hurt or harm should ferried be and free;”
And when she saw there was but do or die,
With all her might she forced her to swim,
And pressed upon the Toad’s back to climb.

The dread of death her strengths gave increase,
And forced her defend with might and main.
The Mouse upward, the Paddock down did press;
While to, while fro, while ducking up again.
This silly Mouse, thus plunged into great pain,
Kept fighting as long as breath was in her breast;
Till at the last she cried for a priest.

As they fought thusly, the Glede sat on a branch,
And to this wretched battle took good heed;
And with a wisk, before any of them wist,
He clutched his claw betwix them in the thread,
Then to the land he flew with them good speed,
Glad of that catch, piping with many a pew:
Then loosed them, and both without pity slew.

Then disemboweling them, that butcher, with his bill,
And peeling the skin, full keenly them flayed;
But all their flesh would scant be half a fill,
And guts also, unto that greedy Glede.
When he had their debate thus settled,
He took his flight, and over the fields flew:
If this be true, ask ye at them that saw.

MORALITAS

My Brother, if thou will take notice,
By this Fable, thou may perceive and see,
It passes for all kind of pestilence,
A wicked mind, with words fair and sly.
Beware therefore, with whom thou fellows thee:
To thee were better to bear the stone wheelbarrow,
For all thy days to delve while thou may endure,
Than to be matched with a wicked marrow.

A false intent under a fair presence
Has caused many innocent for to die.
Great folly is to give over soon credence
To all that speak fairly unto thee.
A silken tongue, a heart of cruelty,
Smites more sore than any shot of arrow.
Brother, if thou be wise, I advise thee flee,
Than match thee with a twisted feigned marrow.

I warn thee also, it is great negligence
To bind thee fast where thou was frank and free.
For once thou be bound, thou may make no defence
To save thy life, nor yet thy liberty.
This simple counsel, brother, take of me,
And it to learn by heart: see thou not tarrow;
Better but strive to life alone in peace
Than to be matched with a wicked marrow.

This hold in mind; right more I shall thee tell
Whereby these beasts may be figured.
The Paddock, used in the flood to dwell,
Is man’s body, swimming early and late
Into this World, with cares implict;
Now high, now low; at times plunging up, at times down;
Ever in peril, and ready for to drown.

Now dolorous, now blithe as bird on briar;
Now in freedom, now wrapped in distress;
Now hale and sound, now dead and brought on bier;
Now pure as Job, now surrounded in riches;
Now gowns gay, now rags laid in a chest;
Now full as fish, now hungry as a hound;
Now on the wheel, now wrapped to the ground.

This little Mouse here tied thus by the shin
The Soul of man betoken may indeed;
Bound, and from the body may not win,
While cruel Death can break of life the thread;
The which to drown should ever stand in dread,
Of carnal lust by the suggestion,
Which draws ever the soul, and drags it down.

The water is the World, always weltering
With many wail of tribulation;
In which the soul and body were stirred,
Standing right different in their opinion:
The soul upward, the body presses down;
The soul right fain would be brought over, I wis,
Out of this world unto the heavens’ bliss.

The Glede is Death, that comes suddenly
As does a thief, and ends soon the battle.
Be vigilant therefore, and always ready;
For man’s life is brittle, and ever mortal:
My friend, therefore, make thee a strong Castle
Of faith in Christ; for Death will thee assay,
Thou knows not when: evening, morrow, or midday.

Adieu, my friend; and if that any asks
Of this Fable so shortly I conclude,
Say thou, I left the rest unto the Friars,
To make example and a similitude.
Now Christ for us that died on the rood,
Of soul and life, as thou art Savior,
Grant us to pass until a blessed hour.

The original text can be found here:

  • Henryson, Robert. “The Taill of the Paddok and the Mous.” The Poems and Fables of Robert Henryson, edited by David Laing, William Paterson, 1865. Google Books.

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You can now help support Medieval Death Trip through becoming a patron of us on Patreon. For as little as $1 (U.S.) a month, you’ll not only be helping to make the show possible, but you’ll also get an audiobook copy of the Mirabilia Descripta, or Wonders of the East by Jordanus, the 14th-century bishop of Columbum in India (and translated by Col. Henry Yule, whose extensive footnotes provide a whole second historical text providing a 19th-century British perspective on India).

To learn more, visit http://www.patreon.com/mdtpodcast/

Episode 9 coming soon!

Getty MS 14 fol. 8vEpisode 9 of Medieval Death Trip is currently still baking — it’s still a bit gooey in the middle, but it will be out of the oven and on your podcast player very soon!

 

Image: J. Paul Getty Library MS 14, fol. 8v.

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